This is what all of our clients want to know. Do we have the answer in ten easy steps? NO. But as relationship experts, we can say here’s the bottom line: To have an extraordinary relationship, you have to be extraordinary.

We’re not talking about being a hero, or a martyr. We’re not talking about being an ascended God or Goddess. We’re talking about going beyond where you normally stop in order to maintain a loving connection with the important people in your life.

Most of us, when we are upset, angry or hurt, tend to forget to look at what we look like when we are reacting. We just let it rip, and give ourselves permission to get ugly in the face, yell or scream, or even worse, give our loved one the cold shoulder for as long as we want.



Being extraordinary means giving up your comfort zone. It means being willing to make a move. It means giving up the need to be right. It means choosing connection over criticism. This is easier said than done. But if you want to have a relationship that is loving, if you want to have a relationship that is satisfying, you need to become fully accountable for the state of your relationship. In other words, you need to be responsible for how you are acting and reacting, and for the impact your actions have on your partner.



Just last week, a couple was fighting in my office. They were arguing about who does more chores around the house. The husband became more and more frustrated by his wife’s complaints about how often he forgets to take the garbage out, and suddenly blurted out “Kiss my ass!” The wife looked like she had been smacked in the face. But, instead of reacting with rage and anger, the wife did something brilliant! She turned to him with a big smile on her face, clapped her hands, and gave him a kiss right on his butt. The husband was so shocked, that he couldn’t help but to burst out laughing.

By choosing to respond with humor instead of reacting with rage, the wife was able to break the tension, and the couple was able to work out a solution.



The old cliché that you may have heard from your grandmother really does hold weight…. “It’s easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar. “ You will be amazed at the changes that can occur in your relationship by simply being aware of your attitude. We are saying that your spirit and attitude actually rule your actions and can change the dynamic of your relationship on a dime.